How To Get Dizzy

If you’re a new reader of my blog posts, I must explain that I write from my own experiences and feelings and try to connect with readers in a unique and sometimes playful way. Perhaps I’m trying to reach those who may have the same thoughts as I or haven’t yet realised that they do.

You may think that this title is peculiar and if you’re expecting a step-by-step guide on “How To Get Dizzy,” your wish is my command (with a twist)

Step 1.  “You spin me right round, baby
Right round like a record, baby
Right round round round”…. uh yep, that would work

Step 2. Someone is waiting just for you
“Spinnin’ wheel, spinnin’ true
Drop all your troubles by the riverside
Ride a painted pony let the spinnin’ wheel fly”… hmmmm perhaps something else was involved?

Step 3. “You make me dizzy, Miss Lizzy
The way you rock and roll
You make me dizzy, Miss Lizzy
When we do the stroll
Come on, Miss Lizzy
Love me before I grow too old” … Awww, that’s nice

***STOP***

Read each one carefully and ask yourself, “will these 3 steps actually make me dizzy or will I simply enjoy each moment?”

Recently, I attended a celebration event with 15 friends and family members.  We visited a beautiful city; the weather was lovely, the surroundings magical and the company fantastic.  For some of us, it was the first time spending 2 days in a row together, socialising and getting to know one another.

We played games, enjoyed good food, boogied a little on the dance floor and sang at the top of our lungs, even if it was out of key.  Nowadays, we’re all connected to devices to try and capture “moments in time,” which can be kept forever…  forever in a cloud, forever on our profiles and forever digitally.  I missed something… in fact I missed quite a few things to be honest, because I was connected in the wrong way.

I FELT present during each “moment in time,” but I wasn’t.   When we returned from this wonderful event, everyone was buzzing from happiness and we all hugged and said “farewell for now” and everyone promised to share each other’s photos and videos.  I was excited to see them and how each of us experienced our time together.  I was shocked, very sad and surprised at myself.  This was and is my wake-up call.   The videos in particular…everyone around me were singing together and I thought I was part of it.

The moments where I thought I was present, I was not.   I watched the videos and in each one, I was glued to my phone, while everyone was dancing and singing around me.  I felt sick. I wasn’t the only one, but it has hit me hard because I’m so passionate about being connected to people.

We rely on technology to make some things possible, that never were before and in a lot of instances, it’s truly amazing. My experiences of “disconnections” when I’m at work, on the train or anywhere for that matter have been baffling. A row of people on a train looking down with glazed expressions, people crossing the street engaged with their screens, who never notice traffic, work colleagues who sit in the lunch area not talking, but rather gawking. It’s not comfortable for me to watch this anymore.

After my wake-up-call, everything makes me “Dizzy” now. GIF’s, Emoji’s, face-swaps, quizzes, acronyms, which not all of us get. It’s like Vegas on the internet.   The one thing that all of these gadgets and gizmos will never do is replace a memory, a feeling and a moment, whether it’s happy or sad.   I will share a menagerie of selfies I’ve taken recently as an example and explain some of my points and the reason for this rather long and hopefully spirit awakening moment in time.

From top left:  1-Event (not present), 2-Sun on my face, on the way to our best friend’s wedding (present), 3-shopping with friend and fun with selfie mirror (present) 4-Selfie with friend trying to get best photo to post on Facebook (not present)

From Bottom left: 1-Bored selfie at home testing filters to make me look better (not present) 2-Me day at the local beach-happy with sun and toes in sand (present),

3 & 4- 2 more selfies for no reason and I couldn’t tell you what I missed, because I missed it amusing myself with snap chat filters (not present)

The moral of this story is, have real conversations, look up, look ahead,live in the moment and capture only things that matter.  If there is no person or experience attached, chose wisely as you cannot get time back.

Memories live on forever.

Thanks for reading

With love

Hands-On

 

Lyrics snippets extracted from Lyric finder 

1- (Dead or Alive)

2-(Blood, Sweat and Tears)

3-(The Beatles)

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3 Pockets- The Untold Story

 

I was born in the year of the horse, according to Chinese astrology, but that has almost nothing to do with this post. Read on and you’ll see….

During my first trip to Santorini in May of 2015, my husband and I came across this handsome devil every day on the way to our hotel from the main beach road.

Grecian friend

We always said hello and managed to catch this image.  I’m not sure if horses smile and he doesn’t appear to be.  Perhaps he’s happy and enjoying the land, visitors like us and the weather, but he’s not running free… something that made me rather sad each time I passed him on the hill.   Is he grateful for what he does have?  Does he have friend’s, a mate or even a comfortable place to live and sleep?  I don’t know, but he is there and he looks healthy and well cared for.

Next photo victim.. Me

I’m smiling, the sun’s on my face, I’m in paradise and enjoying a wonderful vacation with my one true love.  Everything is wonderful and I’m full of life.

Me

All of this is true, or is it? (scroll down for more)

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is true however; no one really knows what lies beneath.

I’ve been smiling since the day I was born (nearly) and I enjoy being happy and doing pleasurable things. I counsel friends who are down, have a playful sense of humour, have taken care of my family and husband when they weren’t well and take pleasure in finding perfect gifts for everyone in my life for special occasions or “just because.” I give a lot, probably more than is healthy for me.

I have 3 pockets.  I stuff each pocket with things that I don’t need or want while I’m enjoying life and happiness. My first pocket is close to my heart and holds the sadness of losing my father, the second pocket holds my worries… for everything and the final pocket holds my fears.. fears of health and fears of future.

The moment that I walk through my front door after a relaxing and enjoyable vacation or fun event, it’s there again. Me, the “me” that I tucked away in those 3 little pockets.  The me that has been struggling “inside” with trauma that has taken over my persona.

My outside (public self) stays positive, optimistic and playful. Nobody realises, I am a great actress and my smile hides a lot of stories.

With love-Hands-On

Optimists…we’re only human

A letter to Daddy

 

 

CollegeGrad-DadDear Dad,

It’s been awhile since I’ve written you a letter, but I think of you every day.

A lot has happened in my life since you left and the piece of my heart that you took with you on your journey is still felt. I didn’t think it would be this hard… not to hear your voice, tell you about my life and hear your stories (even for the 10th time), but it is.

Your pride, your unconditional love, support and general inquisitive nature…it is a part of what’s missing in my life, my routine and my being.  I am not the same person without you, I have lost the one person who made it all better just by listening and being my father.

Life is funny in a strange way…as a child, I never saw an end to anything, only seasons,the last day of school and maybe an ice cream.  Those are moments that are enjoyed but their end does not leave a lasting mark.

As I reminisce about times past and the holiday season, I am reminded of how time changes things.. circumstances, people, events and myself. All of this leaves me searching for something and I haven’t put my finger on what it is yet. So this letter .. I’m an optimist but sometimes even an optimist falls. I resisted writing this, for fear that my readers would doubt my optimism, but I’m only human.

I’ve been watching videos I’ve taken of you and it’s almost like you’re here. I wish you were. I have a heavy heart writing this because I have changed since you left. I know that I was lucky to have you in my life and I have wonderful memories of all of the times we’ve spent together. Somehow I feel selfish… selfish for wanting everyone to understand my loss, but I still keep these feelings tucked inside.

I’m in a foreign land, with a man that I love however, my heart is missing family and familiar places to ease my sadness.  So I listen to songs that remind me of moments, people and places and sigh.

I’m trying Dad, but there are few that understand my dreams, wishes and wants.

I hope you are safe and not worrying about me. I will bounce back but you dear father have left an large empty space.

 

 

Hide and Seek is not a game

Real me

It’s been almost 2 years since my last blog post and during that time, I feel as though I have lived a thousand lives.

Have you ever had that feeling that very few people get to know the real you? Do you open yourself up to reveal all that you have to offer the world or do you hide instead?  Let’s skip to the most important question of all..”Do you really know who you are?” 

If you do, how long has it taken you to get there?  I’m guessing that some of you will be thinking about this clearly now and may even have an answer but for those that don’t, I invite you to read on while I share my experiences.

The attached photo has great significance in my life and I have only just discovered that. In 2012, I visited my family (specifically my father who was in his 90’s).  I always seem to photograph well during certain events… which are family visits and vacations with my husband. Do you see the glow of happiness and peace in my face? In my opinion, it only occurs when you are surrounded by unconditional love, respect and support.  I liked this photo when my sister took it, so I used it for several online social media sites because it reflects the real me. I started a blog post almost 2 years ago and used this photo, but never finished the story. Today I opened my unfinished blog,enlarged the photo and noticed my father in the background as he always was, right by my side. We were very close and I miss him terribly. He was one of 4 people in my life that always knew the real me. (even before I did)

So my father has inspired this blog and I wanted to stress the importance of not only knowing yourself, but appreciating yourself for who you are and especially for those who know the real you and bring out the best in you. In conversations with my father he used to ask, “are you president of the company yet?” I replied, “not yet dad, they’re getting to know me so maybe soon”. He loved and lived for his children and we are all storytellers to a degree because of him. I’m not quite sure everyone gets me, but the people that count do. Being true to yourself and having at least one person you can be 100% you with is necessary. Without sounding big-headed, because I am so far away from that… I have learned that I am:

  • Caring
  • Sensitive
  • Loving
  • Strong
  • Supportive
  • Creative
  • Intuitive
  • Determined
  • Sympathetic
  • Empathetic
  • Honest
  • True

Like most of us who have spent our young adult lives searching for our true selves, I can honestly say that the moment happens when you’re ready and that moment for me was when my father was no longer here. He gave me a gift and now I intend to share it with others. It’s not a game folks so please try not to hide.

Are you ready to seek the real you?

I hope so!

With respect Hands-on

Look into my eyes-tips for connecting

eyes

They say the eyes are the windows to a person’s soul…. I truly believe this.

In fact, the realisation of this in my lifetime has proven itself time and time again both in my personal and professional relationships.

I ask each and every one of you who are closely attached to a significant other, whom you love and adore to test this out!  Look deeply into his or her eyes and think about what you see.  You might be thinking “what am I looking for?”  Well… I’ll tell you what you should look for:

  • Sparkle
  • Warmness
  • Love
  • Respect
  • Infinity (where there is no end)

and most importantly, this person should be looking back at you and you should return the favour of the above.

Now if you apply this rule to business, obviously you’re not looking for love but rather a genuine, honest and non-threatening professional connection.  I’ve listed a few traits to look for and a few to avoid.  I like to end things on a positive note therefore; I’ll start with those you should avoid first:

  • Shiftiness
  • Avoidance of eye contact
  • Disconnection
  • Shallowness

You’ll know how to recognise these traits when you experience them. Think about when you attend networking events… there may be some people who you meet and think to yourself later, nope.. didn’t connect with him/her so I don’t think I’ll contact them.  TRUST your instincts.

Here’s what you should look for:

  • Sincerity
  • Integrity
  • Honesty
  • Openness

and of course, always pay attention to see if they are looking back and connecting with you.  Genuine folk have no problem making eye contact with other people.

I do not profess to be a psychologist or an expert in this field, but I have lived, experienced and tested this in my life so why shouldn’t you?

Thanks for reading

Hands-on 🙂

5 tips about how not to sell

We have all experienced the act of selling and being sold to in our lives.  The question is when do we like being sold to?

As consumers, we receive countless phone calls and marketing leaflets encouraging us to buy or rather “act now” because you don’t want to miss this deal.  What some salespeople and companies don’t realise is that regardless of their targets or quotas, the customer has to need or want the product or service.  Competition is tough, but not that tough where companies should feel the need to pressure their staff into selling something that a potential customer does not need or want. Even companies that we do business with sometimes miss the point of valuing their existing customers.

My husband and I recently received a letter from our bank, stating that they have tried to contact us on several occasions to no avail.  The account manager did not even provide his full name, only his initials and as for trying to contact us.. they only had our mobile numbers, email addresses, home phone number and an on-line banking messaging facility to do this…. hmmmm this was obviously a ploy to get us to arrange an appointment to “review” our services hoping that we will buy more.  This is sadly the standard way that a lot of companies are managing customers these days, but is it the right way and what are their competitors doing? Maybe we would have contacted them if their approach was more personal.

When I was a kid, the biggest running jokes were the encyclopedia salesman and of course the stereotypical used car salesman.  In most cases, these salesmen were “groomed” to persuade the customer that they wanted what they were selling, without finding out what they actually needed or wanted. Countless families ended up with a set of bulky, dusty books that quickly became outdated. (my family were one of them)  What do I remember from these antique paperweights?  The pictures of course and being one of the lucky ones that didn’t have to carry the box of bulkiness when we moved to another home.  As for the used car salesmen, well.. you only have watch the movie “Used Cars” to know what I’m talking about.

So without further ado, here are my 5 tips on how NOT to sell:

  1. Do not treat selling as an art-  (You may be a sales genius, but leave the art factor to Michelangelo please)
  2. Do  not hustle your customers- (I know this is quite a harsh statement, but customers will only remain loyal to you if you provide an honest service, quality products and good value for money)
  3. Do not treat sales as a transaction- (Yes, it is a transaction however; if you are purely treating it as a transaction you are  missing out on providing a good customer experience)
  4. Do not treat selling as a science- (Okay, for some it may be considered to be a formula or experiment relating to the perfect way to seal the deal, but try thinking more about how you will continue to keep the customer coming back)
  5. Do not guilt your customers into buying- (Informing your customers that you will win a holiday in the Caribbean for two if they buy your product or service is well…. wrong and I’m sure you’ll agree)

Now for those of you who know me, it’ll be quite clear that I’ll be finishing this blog off on a positive note…

Here is what selling means to me:

  • Selling is finding out the customers need and then filling it
  • Selling is all about relationship building
  • Selling is about trust
  • Selling is coming to a mutual agreement

By the way, I like being sold to if the salesperson has done their research and really cares about what I want or need.  That’s not an Art..that’s a Skill.

Thanks for reading!

Nancy

8 Golden rules

Now, we all agree that great customer service is imperative to your business and believe it or not, we have been providing this service for many years without even realising it.

Take the photo as an example… as children when we are taught to use the telephone we are instructed to say hello, ask who the caller is and most importantly, be polite.  Simple concept really… but as we morph into our teen years the communication may change slightly to: “Ma, phone”… Ma asks, “who is it”?  and our teenager responds, “I didn’t ask, but it’s not for me”.  Interesting….

So, the teenager grows a bit older and eventually gets their first job… by which the first order of business during their job induction is, how to answer the phone and deal or speak with customers.  Sound familiar?

Now, with all of this training from our wee years, you would think that we would all be experts wouldn’t you?  Well… there comes a time when a memory lapse occurs and the worst thing that can occur is for us to treat our callers or visitors like an interruption or inconvenience.

Here are 8 golden rules to help you stay focused:

  1. Answer the phone (make sure that someone picks up the phone in your business by the 3rd ring)
  2. Keep your promises (Reliability is the key to good relationships)
  3. Listen to your customers (It’s not about what you can offer, it’s about what your customer need’s)
  4. Be helpful (even if it means you’re not getting an immediate benefit, your customer will remember this)
  5. Train your employees (product and service knowledge=confidence AND it shows that you care about how your staff are representing your company)
  6. Go the extra mile (If you don’t offer a particular product or service, recommend someone who you know and trust that can)
  7. Handle complaints correctly (A complaint may feel bad, but it also gives you and the company an opportunity to learn and improve)
  8. Offer something extra (A discount, a smile or advice… any of these will help you to retain your loyal customers and win new ones)

Thanks for reading and thanks to my big sister for the perfect pose!

Nancy